My biggest problem when writing essays in school was always the beginning. I would have all these ideas, sometimes written out in notes or already in my word document. But as the minutes ticked on, I always came to a standstill—How do I start? How do I physically start to cohesively bring all my ideas together and put it to paper?
I’ve been wanting to write a book for a few years now. Visualizing it in my brain for months. Pages of notes and ideas on plot and characters. But I just can’t START IT! Then I think that I’ll just write a scene—it doesn’t have to be the beginning, it can go anywhere in the story. But I can’t even start that! Even after taking numerous writing classes. There has to be some sort underlying reason why I just can’t jump in and start. And I have an idea what that may be.
I’m extremely cautious in everything that I do. I’m always worrying about whether something is the right decision. I become paralyzed with fear that the world will end if I get a salad instead of a sandwich. There is so much self-doubt and lack of confidence within me, I just shut down. Embarrassment washes over me whenever someone I know reads my work. And yet, strangers? I’m totally fine. So if I could just move to the middle of nowhere, write a book and not let anyone I know read it, I would be happy. But alas, the world doesn’t work that way.
Excuse the word vomit. This concludes Episode 1 in the “Writing Chronicles”. I’m officially starting my book. See you in a few weeks where I’ll probably still be sitting in the same Starbucks, staring at a blank Word document and trying not to cry my eyes out.
If you have any advice in starting a book, I’m all ears.