Pain is…

September is National Pain Awareness Month, something that I didn’t know existed, but I’m here for it. This is just a little stream of consciousness about my own struggles with pain.

Pain is constant. As much as I try to fight it, I’m defined by my pain. It’s something that’s never going away.

Pain is exhausting. Not only is it physically exhausting, but I don’t think people realize how mentally tiring it is to be in constant pain.

Pain is unpredictable. I could be having a pretty good week and then wake up one morning, feeling like i’d been hit by a bus. You never know when you’ll be hit with a flare.

Pain is isolating. Unless you’ve experienced chronic pain, you can never know how it actually feels to be in this amount of pain, all the time.

Pain is time consuming. Doctor’s appointments, blood work, tests, scans—the list is never ending. It can feel like a full-time job.

Pain is a nuisance. I mean how annoying is it that I can’t be a normal human being who can walk around a store without needing to sit down for a break.

Pain is suffocating. The overwhelming feeling that an elephant is just sitting on your chest as the panic and dread sinks in and you’re just fighting for air.

Pain is heartbreaking. All I want is a semblance of my old life back.

Pain is a bitch. Ever thrown your back out by breathing? Just ridiculous.

Pain is my normal.  Every morning, noon, and night, it’s there lurking, plotting against me and my life.

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